Some Chilean Woman

Just Educating

2012-01-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

Meeting the other woman in my husband's life was great. I love my mum in-law, she's the sweetest. She is the reserved Scottish-type, not the skanky type I always see on the BBC America (why?!). But I got her to open up in the end, not in front of her son, but in private while buying a coffee...

The mum-in law "those look like boobs".

I kept looking at the brownies, bagels, croissants, then the chocolate chip cookies, hmmm. "What?"

"Those look like boobs!" as she pointed at the vanilla cupcakes with white frosting and strawberry on top.

"Oh! I'm brown, mine don't look like that at all!".

Poor lady blushed and giggled, I think she was disturbed a little bit.

But no, not everyone is pink, some of us are caramel with a chocolate center. Some of us are not pointy like a strawberry, maybe we're more round and saggy. Now I know why I get so many search hits for Chilean Boobs on my blog, white people are curious! Sorry, no pictures of Chilean boobs on this blog. This will have to do:

Chilean Woman Needs a Break

2012-01-17T22:36:00.002-07:00

Been working too hard in every level possible. My Capoeira, my singing, work, has taken over my life and I need a break and I am getting it this Thursday. My mother in-law, whom I've never met is visiting from Scotland and I am taking a week and half off work to be with her and the flaco. She's coming at the right time, the Sundance Film Festival is right around the corner and we plan on spending lots of time there. Tickets are already purchased and my fried brain is already on vacation mode.

Here are the films we're going to:

China Heavyweight: A documentary on rural teenagers in southwestern China who are recruited as their country's next Olympic hopefuls, with a focus on the coach Qi Moxiang.

For Ellen: A struggling musician takes an overnight long-distance drive in order to fight his estranged wife for custody of their young daughter.

Valley Of Saints: Gulzar, a young, working-class boatman, plans to skip town with his best friend in search of a better life, but a weeklong military curfew derails their departure. Forced to wait it out, Gulzar takes a job assisting a pretty scientist named Asifa. As they navigate the floating landscape, collecting water samples for an environmental study, an unlikely relationship blossoms between the two. When Asifa’s research reveals harmful pollutants, Gulzar realizes that the ecology of the lake and an entire way of life face an alarming threat, and everything in his own life begins to take on a new hue.

California Solo: A former Britpop rocker who now works on a farm gets caught driving drunk and faces deportation after living in Los Angeles for many years. His efforts to stay in the U.S. force him to confront the past and current demons in his life.

So yes, we have an amazing week planned next week for my mother in-law, from street tacos to Peruvian food, and we couldn't be happier. Makes me grateful I hopped online one day and met my husband the way I did, life is funny.

Listening to: "Viva Bimba" -Grupo Nossas Raizes. Practicing the song I need to test on tomorrow for my second Capoeira cord. Yep, too damn busy!!!!

Problem

2011-12-30T08:33:00.001-07:00

Cocktail dresses are not my thing. They're too shiny for my liking. When I was told that our New Years Eve's gig was to be performed in cocktail dress and tuxedo attire I kind of flipped out. I spent all day looking for the right outfit. Anthropologie saved the day, I love that store, I love it more at 75% off. Found me a beautiful long red chiffon skirt and green silk top, totally my style but perhaps not your average cocktail attire. May not be the typical cocktail outfit, but I feel pretty wearing it, that's all that matters to me.

The problem is, my voice is gone. I've been ill for about 2 weeks now and my voice is comparable to a baby seal's. I don't know what to do. I've been trying everything from a vow of silence, steam facials and breathing that crap in, tea with honey, cough suppressants, cough drops, to the most disguting thing I have ever had...Broncolin.

We went to a street taco stand last night and the cook recommended this syrup. I always trust Mexicans and their natural medicine ways. I can say this little guy works, but I should have started taking it maybe 4 days ago instead of just last night. But let me tell you, it's the most disgusting thing I've ever had. Poor husband watched me take it and I think he almost threw up just watching me want to throw up.

Freaking out! I have 7 songs to perform in front of at least a hundred people tomorrow, I don't know what else to do.

Listening to: The sound of a pot of boiling water for another steam breathing moment.

Ensign Peak Trail -Salt Lake City, Utah

2011-12-11T19:19:00.001-07:00

Sundays are for walks...

One tired dog....

Listening to: Euphoria, Take My Hand by Glasvegas.

Chilean Dish Time...'Porotos Granados'.

2011-12-11T11:15:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Facebook I've been posting my recipes like crazy, people really seem to enjoy them, especially the photos. But what the hell? I should be posting here, can't have my Blogger friends miss out.

Anyway, my vegetarian friend Shaheen from Allotment Kitchen got the courage to make one of my favorite Chilean dishes, Porotos Granados. You have no idea how happy it makes me when I see people attempting Chilean cooking, I love seeing different interpretations and she did a great job. She's asked me about the authenticity of the dish she made, and yes it's very very very close, but in Chilean cooking a key ingredient is my friend basil. There are many dishes in Chilean cooking and you'll see that basil and cilantro are HUGE.

If you guys lived closer, I would love nothing more than inviting you to a nice bowl of Porotos Granados underneath the trees enjoying the scenery of the beautiful canyon we live in which in the Summer looks a lot like Chile. Try making the dish yourself, the flavors are refreshing and so very different.

*Please keep in mind I do this from my head, I don't do measurements very well, just follow your palate and give it lots of love. Also, this is a very large batch for we like a lot of leftovers. You could probably cut these ingredients in half for a smaller batch.

Ingredients in the order they should be added:

2 tbsp olive oil
2 large onions, chopped
2 tbsp paprika
1 tbsp ground cumin
2 tbsp garlic paste
8 leaves of basil
1 medium green pepper, seeded and chopped.
1 Can of high quality canned tomatoes, chopped *I used Di Napoli Peeled Whole Tomatoes with Basil. I got them at Tony Caputos for $2.99 and they were amazing!
2 bags of Lima beans. Cooked.
2 cups of butternut squash, chopped.
5 cups of fresh sweet corn. You can use frozen if you're in a hurry, but I promise you it wont be the same.
Salt to taste

Add oil to large pot. Once oil is warm add onion paprika and cumin. Add Green pepper. Once onion is golden add garlic, basil, and tomatoes. This will be come a very thick sauce, just keep stirring. Add cooked beans, squash, and corn. Add water, about 6-8 cups and let it all simmer until squash is soft. Add salt to taste.

I like to serve my porotitos in a bowl with fresh chopped basil on top, maybe even drizzle a little olive oil.

That's about it! Let me know how it turns out.

Food Porn

2011-12-10T21:13:00.001-07:00

Yes, I love to cook, but mostly I love to eat good food. Enjoying luscious meals with the one I love is one of my favorite pastimes, but I'm in the mood of sharing and really thinking about the possibilities of underground dining.

*These are photos I've taken of the food I make.

Listening to: Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds by Bono

Why I am not blogging

2011-11-06T23:17:00.003-07:00

No, I am not in Brazil, but have made it into possibly the coolest Brazilian band in Utah. Had my first gig last week. Now I am working on this song and I gotta say it's really difficult, my Spanish accent really comes out when I sing in Portuguese. Yes, I am the lead singer as of now, we'll see if they still like me, they're pretty hardcore and strict.

Scotsman had never heard me sing until now. He's now my groupie.

I wish you could party with us, you would love it.

Oh nice!

2011-10-08T14:00:00.001-06:00

Life is good, busy, but good. The Scotsman has been working I don't know how many hours a week and I have all kinds of things going on. All I know is that we come home very late every night and hardly have time for 'us'.

The more time we are apart, the needier we become. I feel we're slowly becoming like Onslow and Daisy from Keeping Up Appearances. I am constantly thinking ~~and nagging~~ about the good times in our romance while Scotsman is slowly becoming the uninterested husband.

When I read back on this blog it really does make me laugh a little bit when I see so many sex posts, when did we find all that time?! We were poor then, really, really poor, but we made the best of it. Now we are busy with plentiful work for him and work plus activities for me, which make us happy and feel more 'comfortable' in the finance department -but is it worth it?

Listening to: Bem Leve -Marisa Monte.

Brazilian Festival 2011

2011-09-04T21:06:00.001-06:00

Capoeira has introduced me to some of the most beautiful people inside and out. I feel very fortunate to be able to participate in such events. I kinda suck at Capoeira, I have a long way to go, but everyone has been so accepting and encouraging I feel like one of the family. Muito axé!

The newest member of our family

2011-09-04T20:58:00.000-06:00

Meet our little girl, Feist. She loves to play with the BIG dogs at the doggy park, she doesn't let them hump her though, which I am really proud of. She likes ice chips, farts a lot, and is a restless sleeper. She's a lot like me, except I don't like to eat poop Bonbons.

Listening to: 'Case-se Conmigo' -Vanessa Da Mata.

Romantic Chile Protests

2011-09-02T10:44:00.000-06:00

Just gotta say I love the way these students are protesting...from pillow fights to kissing marathons. Lots of sad things have happened lately, but I love those that are trying to make things better in a peaceful way. Read more here.

Listening to: 'La nueva condena' -Ana Tijoux. My new favorite Chilean artist.

Chilean vs. Scot

2011-08-27T11:03:00.000-06:00

I've heard people describe Latinas as very passionate, either in bed, or when in love, or just overall. I've not been a fan of this statement because I don't think it's fair to put a label on people in general and I have just met too many boring Latinas to say that is a true statement. But I will be the first Latina to admit that I am a bit crazy when it comes to love.

Having said that, Scots are just as crazy. There is a reason Scots are far far away from Latinos, or at least they should be because this is a dangerous combo, people.

What is it about two people that love each other and want the same thing (more time together) that makes them fight like cats and dogs?

Love is funny sometimes.

Don't worry peeps, we're happy in love.

Listening to: Matador by Los Fabulosos Cadillacs.

Where I've been lately

2011-07-11T15:23:00.000-06:00

Not blogging, but getting my first Capoeira cord. I am now an official Capoeirista.

These are the pictures from the batizado this past Saturday. I was a nervous wreck to begin with because I knew I had to play a master, what I didn't know is that they are intentionally supposed to take you down for your first cord. Let's just say I spent most of the time on my ass and teasingly getting my belly played on as a drum by Professor Fenix. Embarrassing? Yes. Worth it? Hell yes!

Whining

2011-06-24T18:54:00.000-06:00

I'll only make this orgasmic cake for my husband if I get an actual orgasm myself. Thanks.

Me And The Queens

2011-06-03T11:34:00.001-06:00

Drag Queens are a bit of an obsession, I find them mysterious and scandalous. How they manage to hide the family jewels, I don't know.

It's Pride Week in Salt Lake and I will be missing most of it because I am just too damn busy. Last night I got lucky and was able to make it to The Miss City Weekly Queen Pageant, and it was amazing. I danced my heart out.

Me and the winner. I knew she'd win as soon I as I saw her dance. And why in the hell is she prettier than me?

Last year's winner, I think I went to high school with him.

The Beautiful People of Capoeira

2011-05-22T16:27:00.001-06:00

My husband now understands why I am gone all the time, it all makes sense.

Listening to: "Energy Spent" -Liam Finn.

Blog #2

2011-05-16T22:51:00.000-06:00

Some Chilean Woman will continue here on this blog, but my photography blog is over here at Aqui Conmigo, Here With Me in Spanish, follow me.

Here's a preview...

Listening to : "Collide" -Howie Day.

Mosquita y Mari

2011-05-14T15:13:00.000-06:00

Check this beautiful love story out. If you're the open-minded type. And donate while you're at it, I know I want this independent film to make it.

Still here

2011-05-14T15:06:00.000-06:00

Writing has slowed down quite a bit and I really miss it. But I have figured out why I have not been into it. Capoeira has taken over my life, I am training hardcore, but when I really deeply think about it I realize that it's all my beat up camera situation, using my husband's just doesn't feel right. I feel that being without a good camera that I actually love to use I just don't write, inspiration fizzles out of me. How photography and blogging go hand in hand for me I don't know, but I can't go without either.

My Scot has been working hard, saving money to get me the camera he thinks will suit me best. On Monday I shall be getting a package at work, my new baby, a Sigma DP2s. I can't tell you how excited I am.

I can tell you though that I am thinking about starting an additional blog just for my new camera adventures, Some Chilean Woman will continue, of course. But what to name the new blog?

Listening to: "Be Gentle With Me" -The Boy Least Likely To.

Better than meeting Prince William

2011-04-30T15:19:00.001-06:00

When you think of someone famous you'd like to meet, who do you think of? You all know I love my music, but big artists come to Salt Lake City quite often and I don't feel I miss out. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think the fabulous Tim Gunn would be coming to Salt Lake City.

Mr. Gunn was part of the Lucky Brand Jeans Collection promotion. Guests enjoyed a fashion presentation hosted by Tim Gunn. Those who made a qualifying purchase (me!) got to meet him.

He was everything I hoped for and more. My life is now complete.

Listening to: 'Spanish Bombs' -The Clash.

William and Kate

2011-04-13T19:40:00.001-06:00

Yes, I am excited about the royal wedding. And hell yes I am excited to see it on TV. I was in love with Prince William when I was little and I am so happy he's found someone I approve of.

Housetohome.co.uk asked nine top designers to create a one-off commemorative plate. You can bid in their auction with all proceeds going to Shelter .

I want them all, but here are my favorites:

Listening to: "Dis moi c'est quand" -Louise Attaque.

La vida

2011-04-10T18:20:00.001-06:00

My sweet grandma Mariana turned 70 today. We had a little get-together at my grandparents' home last night to celebrate. My grandpa prepared canapes and purchased a cake, he also practiced a bolero song and dedicated it to his sweet wife of over 47 years. Being the sweet and very proper Chilean man that he is, he made sure that he also prepared a speech. In it he talked about life and how short and fragile it is.

Death has not been a part of my family life yet. I know it will come, but I have not yet experienced it directly. Last night as my grandpa poured his soul into his song tears just streamed down my face and I am now left feeling very melancholic.

The love I feel for my dear grandparents goes beyond any other feeling I could describe, they are my life. My mother had me a very young age so my grandparents practically raised me. They have been there for me through it all, and in all honesty, they've never really judged me. I can't imagine my life without them, they are my foundation.

Listening to: "Años" -Mercedes Sosa. Very appropriate song, time passes, we're getting old.

A Chilean attempting Scotch Eggs

2011-04-05T22:44:00.001-06:00

My mind is somewhere else right now. I've been training for my Capoeira batizado coming up July 9th so my heart is not in my blog, weird. Spending over 10 hours a week at the gym is exhausting, but I still try and find time to enjoy delicious food with my husband.

Scotsman sent me an email the other day hinting he wanted Scotch Eggs. Being the lovely wife that I am I just went for it and they turned out pretty damn good. That being said, I think Scottish people eat food that is way to fatty and rich in flavor for my liking, I can handle 1 egg, that's all. Oh and yes, they are about 300 calories each which to me does not make it a snack.

Here is how I made them eggs...

Ingredients:

8 hard boiled eggs

6 BIG Sausage links, size matters

1 onion chopped

salt, pepper, paprika (paprika is key for every Chilean, sorry Scots)

1/2 cup flour

2 raw eggs, whisked

bread crumbs

oil

1) Remove sausage from link, add chopped onion, mix.

2) Roll eggs on flour so that the sausage sticks

3) Sprinkle some flour on your hands. Grab a about a handful of sausage and shape into a patty. Place hard boiled egg in center of patty and wrap the egg completely in it. Sorry about the lousy picture below.

4) Roll egg and sausage in the raw egg, this will help the bread crumbs stick.

5) Roll the egg on bread crumbs.

6) Fry until they are brown. About 5 minutes each side. Use some tongs to turn.

7) Let them cool down for about 5 minutes before serving.

Aren't you proud of me?

Today

2011-03-23T22:07:00.000-06:00

Was a good day

Another walk...

2011-03-13T19:59:00.000-06:00

My stripper song

2011-03-04T23:00:00.000-07:00

I keep telling my husband that someday he's going to be the lucky audience, but I still haven't done it. Working towards getting my banging body back and I do have a great song. I listen to this song every day on my way to work and I think of the moves I can do. This is the song:

Scotsman better be a very good boy...and I better not watch this version of this song because I must just pee my chones laughing.

Thank you Sausage Fingers!

2011-03-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

My mouse is now gliding perfectly thanks to Mr. Sausage Fingers. He had a fun little contest on his blog here and I answered a couple of questions right, got me a nice mouse pad. I am sure he didn't believe me when I told him all we had before this lovely mouse pad was an old newspaper, but it is true, we are that poor...or lazy. So thank you, Mr. Sausage, I owe you something nice.

Now I'm hungry for protein. I want some meat!

Listening to: "Don't Think About Me" -Horace Andy.

A Perfect Day

2011-02-27T20:10:00.002-07:00

Slept in. Had a yummy breakfast. Went to the mountains. My camera is fixed. Took some pictures up the road. Ate some more food. Went to the movies. Had some more food. Doesn't take much to make this Chilean woman happy. Except for I might want some sex and a sugar cookie later.

Snowed In

2011-02-20T13:13:00.001-07:00

Last week the snow melted, I was getting all excited thinking Spring might be coming to us sooner than I had anticipated. Then it snowed a little Thursday night, 'it will melt away soon", I thought. Then it snowed last evening, into the night, and it's still snowing. I am so bummed.

To make matters worse, I am moping and pouting because my camera is broken and I have to use my husband's which is pretty much Optimus Prime to me.

I am an old lady set in her ways, I hate change, unless it's beneficial which learning my husband's camera really is not. I will soon have my own camera again and I will have to learn that one. Life is so stupid sometimes, I just want to poke it in the eye right now.

Anyway, the bright side is that the canyon we live in is truly beautiful right now.

Listening to: a boiling pot of cheese and broccoli soup and my kids watching The Power Rangers.

Men! #3

2011-02-10T13:50:00.004-07:00

Sniffles, sore throat, body aches, ear ache, these are the complaints my husband heard from me last night. Today he has not asked me how I am feeling. Being the needy woman that I am I asked him why he hasn't even asked me how I am feeling today. Oh yes, I am that needy.

"I was hoping you might be just having a one day thing, you looked better this morning".

Well, yeah! When I miserably sat and stretched at the edge of the bed with my back to him, naked in my ill glory, he sleepily slipped his hand from my thigh to my waist only to end at left boob for some generous cuppage, of course he's going to think I looked better this morning because he never actually saw my face. Men!

PS -I actually really love him for touching me like that in the morning. I'm obviously still thinking about it...women!

Listening to: "Me and Mr. Jones" -Amy Winehouse.

New Do

2011-02-05T21:02:00.001-07:00

Funny how everyone loves it except the one person I really want to impress. And he also dislikes my Boyz II Men. Love sucks.

Listening to: "El Espejo En Q Miras" -El Camaron de la Isla.

Eyes Up Here!

2011-01-30T21:46:00.001-07:00

Inspired a little by Sausage's most recent post...

Breasts come in many shapes and sizes, some are natural, some are artificially implanted, some sag, some are perky. No matter the category, boobs are fascinating.

Growing up with large ones I was always ashamed of them, then I blossomed into womanhood and realized just how blessed I am, literally. With that blessing comes special challenges. Finding the perfect fit in a bra or finding a blouse that will actually button up is very challenging, but it's something I can get used to. Patience is often necessary.

What I can't get used to men and their ways of staring at the girls. Sure, they're out there, but how do you train yourself as a woman to overcome the staring game. I think the 'eyes up here' strategy only makes things more awkward. So help a girl out. These are the kind of men I have encountered, what do you say to them?

The Pubescent Boy
The one I feel the most comfortable being sassy to, or at least making it obvious that he's staring way too much. A loud 'ahem' and a crusty look will get him to stop and leave quickly. But sometimes they won't get the hint, they might even call a friend over to witness the fact that boobs do in fact exist.

The IT Guy
He's quiet, polite, shy and completely respects women. But when you're explaining the problem your computer is having and he tries really hard to look at your eyes, nodding and agreeing with his I see's, but still fails to keep his eyes above your chin, back and forth they go. It gets to the point that you don't really know if he was really staring at the girls or maybe you had a stain that you missed at lunchtime, or that really thin and long hair you forgot to pluck off your cheek. By the time you've finished explaining your problem you're a bit dizzy from having your eyes follow his and realize you could have just pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete and saved yourself some time.

The Latino
You're at Wal-Mart for some strange reason, and you can see him from a distance, he's already spotted you. He's about 3 inches shorter than you, but you can feel the strength of his stare on your chi chis. He could be in the store with his baby mama and his 8 toddlers, doesn't matter, he will still stare. I try and avoid Wal-Mart as much as possible.

The Creepy Guy.
Never before had you felt so uncomfortable. He will not just take a peek, but his stare will linger. You could be wearing three sweaters and look pretty much like a hen, but he will still manage a long stare. Ladies, you know what stare it is I am talking about, it feels like his eyes might have X Ray vision, you end up feeling like you should have charged something for the show.

The Dirty Old Man
He might drool, not be able to move, or even get a boner, but he will flat out stare, why not? He's old, he can do whatever he wants. But you still feel used.

The Church-Going Man
This is the one that frustrates me the most. Living in a large Mormon community I know that it is against their beliefs to look at porn. You see billboards with "Porn Addiction Help" everywhere. I firmly believe that if porn wasn't so forbidden church-going men would not be obsessed with boobs. I haven't been to church in years, but when I was a good Mormon girl, I could be covered in layers of clothing and I would get stared at so much. There was one time when I was teaching, and after class this mighty self-righteous man came to me and told me I really needed to do something about my bra because my nipples were poking out too much. He was dead serious and I was humiliated. Yes people, religious folks are not always right. Watch some porn, or better, get your wife to get naked sometime, it's fun I promise.

So what other types of men have I missed?

Making progress.

2011-01-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

My mind is in a new place, I am happy or at least content with myself. I have been eating well, counting my calories, working out, losing weight, thinking creatively, I am feeling good.

Insecure thoughts are not taking naps in my head. Instead I have been thinking about good things like:

The fact that I feel rich when I have a different bra to wear for each day of the week, that means I own 7 bras now. I've always been too broke and only owned 3 good bras. Scotsman insisted I get new ones, apparently he doesn't like my ghetto boobs.

I must conquer the capoeira hands only stand. My head almost touches the floor, but that's not good enough, my instructor told me I HAVE to do it by next Tuesday. I am scared, but I will do it. Maybe not Tuesday, but eventually. Right now, I am the only one in class that can't do it and the ladies are my age, no excuse.

See? Making progress. Now if only I could stop craving Peanut Butter M& M's, I'd be 100% happy.

Listening to: "Always Where I Need To Be" -The Kooks. Tickles my accent-whore ears silly.

Plumpy

2011-01-20T13:26:00.001-07:00

I'd like to thank Glamour magazine for this interesting article, but I am too poor and unimportant for them to hear me out. I still find it sad that plus size girls have to convince the world that it's okay to be the way we are. Are we looking for acceptance?

Complexes vary within me, my husband is the one person that I really open up to regarding my body image issues, poor guy. Insecurities aside, there is also this whole other side to me that is really proud of being on the plumpy side. Curves to me are good, completely normal, and even sexy.

Culture is a huge contributor to the way I feel, Latinos for the most part celebrate curves. With that in mind it's difficult for me to keep a straight face ~~and claws from scratching~~ girls when they talk about how horrible it is that their butts are getting bigger.

Just last night at Zumba I was talking to a blondie about doing capoeira, the amazing butt-sculpting Brazilian martial art. She said she honestly didn't want to do it because she was afraid her butt would get bigger.

So?

If anyone tells me my butt is getting bigger I take it as a compliment. Be real, it's the new healthy.

Listening to: "Adios Tristeza" -La Macanita. In my next life, I will be a gypsy.

Goals

2011-01-05T22:08:00.001-07:00

While driving to work with my coworker I noticed the snow atop the letters on the Park City High School sign. The way it marshmallowed on top on those letters made me happy, they looked like little mushroom tops. I was thinking all this out loud. My coworker turns to me and says, 'you notice the weirdest things, you're so weird'. I am weird, random I like to call it, but that's how I roll.

This year I really want to:

Do a perfect a cat eye. I love Mac Cosmetics and since my sister is a make-up artist and works for them she gives me a discount - I have become a bit of a Mac whore. I only do my eyes so it's important to me that they look good. But I really suck at doing a cat eye. This year I need to learn how to do it right.
Feel good about myself in lingerie. Models aside, do regular women ever feel confident while wearing lingerie? I certainly don't. I can't even buy the right size. I bought a corset, panties, and stockings to surprise Scotsman about 3 months ago and I barely got the courage to wear it last week. When I put it on I realized the corset was about 3 sizes bigger than I am. Total sexy failure, good thing Scotsman likes me naked anyway.
Learn some French. If only Rosetta Stone wasn't so expensive.
Make some friends. I live in a very active and sporty area, I'd like to meet the people I see around here, they all look so happy and confident, that's the kind of people I'd like to be around.
Lean how to make Madeleine cookies. I had them for the first time in Las Vegas back in November. Where have they been all my life?
Stop being a crazy jealous Latina. Yes I am one of those. It's not flattering.
Finish books. If I don't like a book in the first 2 chapters I don't really finish them. If they don't have sex I lose my interest, that's pretty pervy, I need to give good clean books a chance.
Get my husband to dance. He's amazing in bed, he can dance, he just doesn't know it yet.
Sing more. I used to be awesome, I need to be awesome again.
Learn to samba. Gentlemen, you will enjoy this. Damn, even I get warm watching this. Thais, you'll like this!

Ok so maybe there is no way I could do all these things, but a girl can dream.

Listening to: "Abrazame" -Camila. My seester and I are singing this at my dad's wedding Saturday. I am so scared!!!!

Bringing in the new year

2011-01-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

People kept asking me why Scotsman and I weren't going out for New Year's. There is nothing better than having time for ourselves to do whatever the hell it is we want to do. The King's Speech at the indie theater, delicious Indian food, chocolate-covered pretzels, crepes with Chilean manjar, one shot of a copper camel, going without a bra (ladies, you feel me), some Wii action, etc. Bliss.

We were so frustrated with the freakin' Mario Bros. game, we could not pass this one level we actually missed the new year countdown. We kissed at about 12:01! I think that's the first time I've ever missed it, how unChilean of me.

Listening to: "La Despedida" -Daddy Yankee. I want to go to Zumba so bad today!

Quickie No. 15

2010-12-21T21:39:00.001-07:00

We run around pleasing everyone around us but us

too busy, too busy

I love the measly half hour we get alone at the end of the night

I read, he reads

he watches me, I watch him watching me

just reading

I straddle him, our chests touching, rising at the same tempo

feeling so small and warm with him between my thighs

can't tell if he's been hard just watching me read

or if the weight of my body made him excited

only for a moment

too busy, too busy

I roll over and fall sleep with a smile he can't see

leaving him wanting more

You might call me a tease

but really, I've been teasing myself with the thought of him all day

my lazy plan backfires

Listening to: 'Numb' -Barcelona.

Pretty Chalk Typography

2010-12-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

Meet Dana Tanamachi, I love her designs, but there is something about her chalk art that takes me back in time and makes me so happy. I love talent like this. Check her out here.

Have you ever heard someone give someone a compliment followed with a 'it makes me sick'? I really hate that, it's rude. Just a thought...

Listening to: "I'll Be Home For Christmas" -Michael Buble. If I didn't hate him so much I would like this song more.

On my way to work

2010-12-11T22:05:00.000-07:00

Been feeling blue lately, talked about it with Scotsman til 1 am last night, he always knows what to say to make me feel better, or at least helps me see things more logically. I can get lost in my unrealistic thoughts sometimes.

Then I woke up this morning, it snowed all last night, the trees were covered in the most beautiful snow. The sun was shining and Alicia Keys was singing 'Superwoman'. Even when I'm a mess, still put on vest with an S on my chest, oh yes, I'm a superwoman....

My life is not too shabby. I'm actually quite the lucky girl. I need to be more grateful.

I pass many deer hunters on my drive to work every morning, and a lot of them look at me as if I am crazy for stopping to take pictures. I am simply stopping to enjoy nature as opposed to killing it.

For Sausage Fingers

2010-12-10T13:30:00.002-07:00

It's snowing like crazy here, nothing like in Florida where Sausage Fingers lives. Yes, I like to gloat.

Please excuse the bleeping, Scotsman is now addicted to Bejeweled.

Listening to: God Made The Automobile -Iron & Wine.

Growing up poor

2010-12-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

When in a relationship, unless you've been together since birth you probably don't know everything there is to know about one another. Scotsman and I frequently talk about our childhoods, mine in Antofagasta his in Glasgow. Our childhoods are complete opposites, there are similarities believe it or not, but still quite different from one another. Scotsman likes to say that he was a poor kid growing up, money was tight. When I ask him why, he usually says he didn't get to do nearly as many fun things our kids get to do. Boo hoo.

Growing up in the Atacama desert for me was fun, I think I was oblivious as to how poor we really were. But now that I am older I can say we were dirt poor as children.

Scotsman once told me he planted a hyacinth bulb at school and got a beautiful flower. In Chile I got to plant an freakin' pinto bean and got a weedy looking plant. That's how poor we were.

Kids here get computers and gadgets to play with. My mom gave me an egg carton once, turned it upside down, wrote letters on it and gave it to me saying it was a type writer. I played with that thing for months until we spilled water on it. I was sad. But that's how poor we were.

Now, I am so stingy, I've had the same brown tights for about 3 years now. They are very holey, it's honestly time to get a new pair, but I am still that Chilean little girl that never got rid of her tights.
If my tights were no longer repairable (yes, my mom would sew any holes) and could not be passed down to a cousin, we would cut it up and play elastico. I can't explain it, but here's a picture. That's how poor we were.

If you get an ear infection, you probably go to the doctor and he prescribes an antibiotic right? In Chile, we were so poor we could not afford to go to the doctor, instead you suffer in pain while an elder lays you on your side and lights up a cone on your ear, it's believed to force all the bad gases out of your ear. Bunch of lies, it's no wonder I am deaf now. But that's how poor we were.

This child looks too happy. There is no way she has an ear infection.

Listening to: 'Last Night' -The Strokes.

Las Vegas

2010-11-28T00:33:00.000-07:00

I have mixed feelings about the place, I think everyone should go at least once, but if you don't want to spend more than $150 a day then it's probably not the place for you. I've been there too many times, it's just not that exciting.

I can't point out what it is about the place that makes me feel so out of place. Perhaps it's the fact that I am not a hot Asian in a tiny dress and stilettos, that place just makes me feel ugly and inadequate.

As you can see, I didn't find it that exciting, these are the only photos I took in the 4 days we were there.

Blogger.

2010-11-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I make myself write just so I don't get too lazy. I also don't want to lose my followers, yeah, I care, I'll admit it. I really hate it when people say they don't care about their followers and comments, it's a lie.

I've become addicted to Blogger's Stats. I like seeing how people end up in my blog. Traffic sources shows that the most popular search words for my blog are:

Crazy Chilean Woman

Chilean Recipes

Foreskin

Chilean Women Being Fucked Video

Chilean Women Doing the Booty Dance

Thanks Blogger for thinking I am a cyber slut!

I am thinking the idea of my blog might sound sexy to a couple of horny Chilean-obsessed men, but I am assuming that after those folks get reading they are deeply disappointed. What cracks me up is that Chileans are just like any other Latino, we're not that hot or sexy. Colombians now, they're hot, go find Some Colombian Woman, I am sure you're going to find yourself a hot blog.

Listening to: "Come Back When You Can" -Barcelona. This is the kind of band that responds when you post something on their Facebook wall. I hope they're for reals and not some crazy fan, how High School am I?

They call it 'The Greatest Snow on Earth' for a reason...

2010-11-22T10:52:00.001-07:00

This is my view outside our office door...yes, there is a car in there I promise.

The view from my office window...

Listening to: "We're going to be friends" -Jack Johnson. The perfect song for Park City...

I like it from behind, BUT...

2010-11-15T17:43:00.001-07:00

Verdict: GUILTY!

AMC's 'The Walking Dead' is rocking our boring Sunday nights as of late. Scotsman, my brother, and I almost went crazy last night when we had a small snowstorm and our DVR did not record the 3rd episode very well. This show is awesome, you have to watch it if you can.

I don't want to spoil it for you, but on the 2nd episode there is a pervy scene between the main cop's wife, who thinks her husband is dead, and the supposed dead cop's partner. It's a messy situation. I can't stand cheaters and those who glorify the unfaithful, even in TV, but I will say that this chick had no idea her husband is still alive so of course I don't really hate her for going for the only 1% attractive, horny guy that wants to do her, even if he's a total douche bag. Women have needs too. Oh but he's such a douche bag, look at him!

What cracks me up about the sex scene, besides his very experienced tongue doing snake-like things on her tummy (yes, guys, that's not hot, it's gross), this fella gets on top of her for maybe 2 strokes, flips her onto her stomach and finishes off doggy style. You don't really see anything but her face in total ecstasy, Asian porn like moans, fingers pulling on the grass, it all looks so amazing. Uhm no.

Fellas: doggy style does not get women off as much as you think. We will most likely not have an orgasm from just that position. There are other buttons that need pushed.

Now, I am sure some of you are rolling your eyes, but you know I'm right. I have done my research, actually I always thought I was weird for nor coming in that position with any of the few I've been with, but one day I just got brave enough and asked friends. I had to find out. None of the girls I have asked have ever had an orgasm in that position. I feel confident now, there is nothing wrong with me, I am healthy, my clit is in the right place, and have no shame in admitting that getting done from behind is really not as exciting as guys think it is for us women.

I'm no hypocrite, I really love that position, it's fun, it's bouncy, dirty, desperate, I will even ask for it sometimes when I am not being completely selfish. But if it was the end of the world and there were 'walkers' everywhere, and the only male in the world wanted me and I wanted him, you bet your Zombie apocalypse ass that I would be on top, getting off how I'm supposed to, I might consider missionary. But if he flipped me onto my stomach for me to take it from behind, he'd be Zombie bait.

Listening to: "It's Complicated" -Hans Zimmer. I do love a nice quiet tune here and there.

Diet-obsessed women

2010-11-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

"I'll have the salad with chicken, no dressing"
"Yeah, ranch is so fattening"
"the vinagraitte is not any better"
"I think I'm going to go on the apple juice diet"
"Oh I'm already doing the cayenne pepper juice diet"
"OK, we like so have to lose 15 lbs by Christmas"
"Yah, I want to fit back into my cheer leading outfit by then"

I have to listen to this kind of talk on a daily basis. It's getting so old so fast.

What is it with women and their diet obsession? If I hear one more person say 'we're just trying to be healthy', I am just going to say 'you're full of shit'. It's not about being healthy, be honest, it's about being as thin as stick. I think healthy goes beyond just eating right, it's also a mental state, obsessions are not healthy.

Personally, you can't convince me that eating rabbit food is better than eating something delicious. Scotsman and I were talking about that this morning, he will not allow me to go on this crazy drink-cayenne-pepper-and-water diets because he is afraid he is not going to eat the delicious meals I prepare anymore. He has nothing to worry about, I love food. Damn right I've got some dangerous curves and could afford to lose some poundage, but I am not about to sacrifice eating the beautiful things there are out there to try in the world to achieve that. I rather exercise than starve myself, and that's what I do.

C'mon, how can you pass on a delicious Alaska roll?

Listening to "Al Son Del Tambor" -Rosario. In my next life I will come back as a Gypsy.

How to make a Scotsman nervous

2010-11-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

Takes just 1 ingredient:

1) Just give him one hot and sassy Latina.

Here's proof.

She called him English. Buenísimo.

Listening to: "Go" -Common. Pandora is playing a lot of hip-hop, the good kind on Duffy's station...weird.

Zoo

2010-11-07T16:29:00.000-07:00

I have mixed feelings about the zoo. I hate that animals so beautiful are locked in such a boring place full of snot-nosed kids bothering them every day. But then I consider myself lucky to be able to have these animals so close to me and my kids. I just wish these animals had more room, the Salt Lake Hogle Zoo is working on that.

Face

2010-11-05T11:09:00.001-06:00

I hate this photo of me, but at the same time I love it. No make-up on, kinda pissy, but it's an honest photo. You'll always know what I am thinking by just looking at me, my face hides nothing.

Yesterday while at Zumba, I was really enjoying myself, getting my ass kicked by the super energetic Brazilian instructor, she rocks. I like her because she is so lively and goes around the class, dancing and grinding next to people, making sure they give 100% to the workout. I am struggling, sweaty, stinky, but still very happy doing my workout, then she comes near me. She's doing one those shimmies I can't do too much because I would give someone a black eye with my large bossom right next to me, then she faces me and breathes on my face.

Smoker's breath with a hint of shit

Y'all know what smell I am talking about. I hate that smell, it's horrific, and hello, I work in the dental field, I know poor dental hygiene when I see it and smell it. My face I am sure could not hide my disgust, I am sure. Now I feel bad because I know she probably could tell, she quickly left to the front of the room and did not come my way any more.

I wish my face didn't say so much, I wish I had a better poker face. Perhaps I just need to stop being to snobby.

Listening to: "Ex-Factor" -Lauryn Hill. Where the hell is she???? This is by far one of my favorite albums of all time.

Psycho

2010-11-04T12:33:00.000-06:00

Dreams for me are not that important, they are entertainment in my head while I sleep. Sometimes I have hilarious dreams, sexy dreams, weird dreams like this one. I don't think they mean anything necessarily, but I do think that depending on what I am going through in my life they change. Life has been pretty stressful for me lately both at work and at home because of my brother living with us, I know my husband will roll his eyes at me saying it, but I just feel so busy and like I am not enjoying life at its fullest. I need to get out.

Not only am I highly stress sensitive person I am also insecure. I might not show it on the outside, I am confident and not shy, but deep inside I am a bit fucked up, I have my reasons. Mostly I am the jealous type and I don't trust men due to the fact that every single man in my life has been unfaithful, except my husband of course. It also doesn't help that I have not done a very good job and let myself go, I've gained weight and I feel like a slob. I am trying to change, I really am, I hitting the gym at least 3 times a week and hope to pump it up to at least 5. Yes, looks do matter, I am not shallow, but I think one is to look good to feel good no matter who you are.

With that, I've been raging jealous for a few months now, we're talking psycho jealous. I am making shit up in my head, and I so know it, but I still react in a crazy way. It's getting to the point where I am dreaming jealous dreams, then I go crazy in the dream, I physically hurt my husband by throwing potatoes at him then giving him poisonous orange juice -I'm ashamed to even mention it, but it's the truth, that's what I dreamed. I hate it. I am not scared in horror films, but these dreams scare the shit out of me. I've been waking up crying for three nights now. Good thing my flaco is there every morning to help me come back to reality. I don't know what to do.

Listening to: "Don't Forget Sister" -Low vs. Diamond.

I did not vote

2010-11-03T15:08:00.000-06:00

Ever since I became an American citizen I told myself I would vote. I was kinda pumped for last night to go and vote, I'm done with that Tea Party shit. Turns out someone stole a large amount of cash from our office and I got stuck at work very late trying to figure it. In the end the Republicans ended up winning, but that's just how America rolls, it's so divided it's scary.

Oh well, I'll leave you with the one of the funniest moments in one of my favorite films, You've Got Mail. Right before this break-up moment Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) tells her boyfriend Frank (Greg Kinnear) she did not vote because she forgot, she was getting a manicure.

Listening to: "Diplomat's Son" -Vampire Weekend.

American Boy

2010-10-28T10:00:00.001-06:00

Check out my phone:

Simple. I am not a popular teenager, no one texts me but my coworkers and Scotsman. It meets my needs.

Scotsman on the other hand bought this last night:

To me it's pretty fancy, it vibrates, has a slider, sounds like fun to me. As we came out of the store Scotsman had a huge smile on his face, he was happy about his new toy, making me smile. But then it hit me, this is the first cell phone he's bought in America. It might not be a big deal to you, it's an everyday thing, but it just makes me think of how far we've come.

A couple of years ago we knew nothing of each other, he was there and I was here. He never thought he'd find himself so lucky to find this amazing Chilean woman who would cook amazing meals, keep him warm at night, and love the hell out of him. The same goes for me, I never thought I'd find myself a Scotsman, I like my Irish, but a hot-tempered Scotsman who works hard making beautiful gardens, writing nerdy blogs like me, takes care of my very needy expectations and loves the hell out of me, I never thought I'd get so lucky.

No matter how insignificant the improvements might be to the outer world, we're slowly but surely building our little lives together. Had we not given this crazy love a chance we would not be here, happy in love.

Listening to: "Strange Vine" -Delta Spirit. Catchy tune.

Sex by popular demand.

2010-10-24T11:55:00.000-06:00

Scotsman and I finally got to sleep in today. The sound of rain outside, all the leaves are falling, and the sky is gray. Utah this time of year is beautiful and rather romantic. We totally got it on. But who cares, that's what people do.

I love laying my side on my husband while I recover, talking, learning more about him and his mysterious ways. We started talking about our youths. We were so different from one another. I grew up very geeky, I had nerdy choir friends, we were probably all virgins and we liked it that way, we were serious Mormons. Sex was never really a pressure or something you had to do to be cool, probably because we just weren't. On the other hand, Scotsman grew up in Glasgow, if you weren't having sex as a teenager you weren't cool. He's a stubborn guy, and he's sure of himself, he says he didn't fall in that trap. I believe him.

Although I grew up a sheltered little Chilean woman, I learned through the media all around me that only cool people had sex. It was in all the movies, I listened to a lot of 90's R&B where sexual messages are loud and clear, in my heart I actually wanted to be sexy like that someday and rock my guy's world. My friends may not have pressured me to do it, but the world around me was. But I was fat and ugly so I remained a virgin anyway, had no choice there.

Now as a 30 year old woman with a 33 year old husband I lay in bed and thinking about how different things are now when it comes to sex. Sex for me now is exciting, it's bonding, it's strong, but at the same time it's pretty basic and normal. I'm not talking about our sex being boring, I am just saying sex is nothing out of this world, people do it, so what? Our friends and those around us would not even consider pressuring us to have sex so we could be cool or part of the group. People could care less about what Scotsman and I do.

Seems like a lot of blogs out there are so sex-obsessed, I even have fallen part of that. I do my naughty posts here and there, but I do it mostly out love for my husband and how good he really makes me feel. I don't really go and take nude pictures of myself and expect praise from my readers. I am not interested in reading things about how horny women are, is it really a big surprise to men? Apparently. So you had great sex, I am sure most of us have had that privilege too, everyone deserves that amount pleasure in their lives. But my point is, people really make such a big deal of sex, not only when we're young, but even in our over the hill stage, we don't really grow up in that regard. Although to me sex is phenomenal and one of my favorite things to do, it's also quite normal. Sex has been around since the beginning of time so what's the big fuss all about? Please enlighten me.

Listening to: 'Ramalama' -Roisin Murphy.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

2010-10-21T10:54:00.000-06:00

"Young people are always demanding respect instead of trying to earn it. In my day respect was something to strive for..." -Major Pettigrew.

Major Pettigrew's Last Stand by Helen Simonson is a great book for many reasons, but this quote has stuck with me since.

My brother is living with us at the moment to get his shit together, he's young, he was in love, got dumped, and how he's stuck in our tiny third bedroom. Since he's been with us, nothing much has changed, promises have not been kept, he's still stuck in a computer games world. Families are not perfect, arguments will brew, feelings will be hurt. In one of these arguments we asked him to be more helpful around the house, my brother bluntly said he felt 'disrespected' and demanded that we treat him with more respect..

Then this week happened, I have another new assistant working for me, she really sucks, she has no drive and does not take criticism well blaming others for her actions. I realize she has no previous experience, but has had 2 full weeks of training at another office, enough time to do a fair job. I have another 2 new girls, they are amazing, hard working, humble and open to constructive criticism, they also have not had any dental experience whatsoever, I've complimented them individually in private because I appreciate their hard work and willingness to learn. Apparently newest girl is not happy that I have complimented everyone but her, how she found out I've complimented her coworkers and not her I don't know, I hate gossips. She is venting to other coworkers saying that she doesn't like that she feels she does everything wrong and I don't give her any compliments. Drama.

Like Major Pettigrew, I agree that young people now are always demanding respect, but they don't want to do anything to earn it. I'm so done with young kids always saying older folks or their superiors in my case (I'm only 30) don't respect them. It's not the first time I've ran into this sort of behavior. Now I'm not saying young people are not of any worth and deserve no respect, I'm young myself -everyone deserves respect, but to stand up and demand it to me is very shocking. I guess I see respect more as a behavior rather than a feeling. Respect to me is something you actually do.

Anyway, find this book, I loved it....

Listening to: "Come and get higher" -Matt Nathanson. Sexy, sexy song.

Chi chi chi le le le!

2010-10-14T09:22:00.003-06:00

That's the Chilean President on the right. I don't see Obama or any U.S. President embracing someone like this.

The whole Chilean miners thing has got me all excited, pumped, and proud of being Chilean. We're not all that, our country is small and not rich, but when it comes to unity and being humane we are so there. I was so impressed by the rescuers, the family, the freakin' world coverage! President Sebastian Pineda was also sweet, I love him, I love Chileans like him, like my grandpa. I cried a couple of times at work, I had the live coverage playing on the background and whenever I heard the siren I would stop and watch the reunion. I was trying to get my coworkers to do it with me, major fail, they didn't give a damn.

Anyway, Halloween is coming up and Scotsman and I are trying to figure out what we want to be for Halloween. I thought it would be funny to dress up like Chilean miners. I was looking online for hard hats and Chilean flags when I ran into this story. It really got me thinking.

When I was a kid I was obsessed with the world, I loved flags, I had a map of the world with each country's flag on it. I would spend hours looking at it and memorizing things about each country hoping to travel someday. In public Chilean schools we learned all this, Chile is very interested in the world. Then at 13 years of age I moved to the US and it changed a bit. I was no longer studying much about the world, I was learning a lot about American History and politics, it was weird.

American education is decent, you learn the basics, but I wish it was a bit different in that it would teach people about the world more. Sure the Texas flag is very similar to the Chilean flag, I can understand that mistake. But Chile is not part of Mexico, and no, we don't eat chili peppers in Chile our food is quite mild, and no it's not chilly in Chile.

I hope my children get the education they need about the world, but I think that's just going to have to come from our home, we're diverse enough.

Listening to: "Son Al Rey" -Juan Luis Guerra. Love, like loooooove the man.

Antelope Island, Utah

2010-10-12T22:19:00.000-06:00

We've been so tired lately, seems like we have no time for us anymore. Sunday we were supposed to go to a futbol game, but we declined, and it was worth it. Antelope Island is beautiful, it's almost unreal, but it's only about 40 minutes from our home.

Listening to: "Goddamn right it's a beautiful day" -The Eels. I think iTunes knows what I blog about.

Tag, You're Freakin' It

2010-10-07T22:49:00.000-06:00

I'm an outcast, usually the last girl to get picked in the team, probably due to my sassy nature. Apparently my younger employees think I'm scary. At first I was hurt, but I got over it in about 2 minutes, laughed about it later at the realization that life is a lot scarier than Some Chilean Woman. Wusses. My bark is much worse than my bite.

When the sweet Siobhan from Time Has Told Me tagged me I was like woot woot, at least someone likes me. Check out her blog, she's a one of those bloggers I enjoy following because she writes from her real life experiences, fears and weaknesses included, I dig that. I can't stand all these my-life-is-so-perfect blogs, that's just doughnut holes to me, yummy but never enough to satisfy.

So here are the questions Miss Siobahn asked:

1. What do you think is your greatest achievement?
This might sound deep coming from me, but I feel that after all the crap I've been through in my short 30 years of existence I've actually turned out to be quite a confident, strong woman who likes herself most days. I get me now, that feels good.

2. What song has the best memories for you?
Love Lockdown -Kanye West. This song woke my then boyfriend now husband up every morning when we first got to be together. I'd wake up to this song with his hard cock against my butt ready to play. The best 2 weeks of my life. Whenever I hear that song I blush.

3. If you could be anywhere else right now where would you be?
In San Francisco, I hate emoticons but this really needs a :(

4. What is your favourite book and why?
That's a hard one! I think right now West Coast by Kate Muir might be my favorite. You always think you know what you want out of life, but what you actually need is completely not what you originally planned for. Life is funny that way.

5. What is one thing that makes you really, really happy?
Sex. I won't lie. It makes me feel loved and completely free of any care. And I'm not talking pervy kinky stuff (which I like too), but the kind that just happens between those that really love each other.

6. What is your favorite item of clothing and why?

I love my shoes. I have a huge basket, but those are just my summer shoes, my fall and winter shoes are coming. Heels make me feel leaner and sexier, which is nice because I am a very short, un-sexy, stout woman.

7. What is your favourite past time?
I love watching Project Runway, I wish it was on every day. I live vicariously through those designers, I wish I had good taste and talent to sew and make beautiful fashion.

Now I'm not about to tag, if you want to play the game, just do a post on your blog and let me know if you answered these questions by leaving me a message, I'll be sure to visit.

1. What is the earliest memory you have? I still remember my very first birthday party, that I had a crush on a boy and that he gave me a musical bear that played 'It's A Small World After All'.

2. If you could indulge in one thing for one whole day, what would it be? Right now I would love some sleep, in the dark, next to my husband here in the mountains.

3. What is your biggest fear? I am afraid of being morbidly obese again. I don't ever write about it here because I am ashamed.

4. If you had a million dollars? I'd introduce myself and my family to travel.

5. What is your favorite movie? Nacho Libre no doubt, I have seen it over 20 times and I am still not sick of it.

6. Is there anyone out there you wouldn't mind punching in the face? There is a certain blogger, I can't stand her, but I read her crap just because I'm curious once a year. How can someone so crap get so many followers, I just don't get it. I'm such a hater.

7. Do you have something you must learn to do in your lifetime? I want to learn to play the guitar.

Enough, I'm done. That took me for like freakin' ever!

Bummer

2010-10-06T14:44:00.000-06:00

Life is crap sometimes. I thought I was over it, but I'm not. We're not going to San Francisco because the car is dying and we need to spend our trip money on fixing it.
I ran into the prettiest little blog today and it just added more salt to my open wound. But wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to rent this space for only $35? You can actually do that!

Listening to: "Test Transmission" -Kasabian. Nice, car-related song.

Finished Product

2010-10-05T20:05:00.000-06:00

The table and chairs are done! Complete makeover. DIY projects are a pain in the ass, I won't lie, but the end product has brought a lot of extra life into our little dining room.

Pretty nice, eh? Did you notice it only has 5 chairs? That's what happens when you buy second hand.

Listening to: "New Amsterdam" -Travis.

Casa Sweet Casa

2010-09-27T23:48:00.001-06:00

Y'all know I love my new place. I'm just a bit sad at the moment though because we've been so busy we don't even get home until really late at night, I don't spend any time at home anymore. Scotsman and I work long hours and in the last two weeks we've been spoiling our new home after work. We've bought plants, pillows, mirrors, IKEA is loving us some. While browsing through craigslist this weekend Scotsman found an awesome used and abused table and 5 chairs for $130, to a fancy pants person it would be a ghetto piece of crap, but Scotsman and I see a lot of potential in it, it needs some major TLC. He's sanding it down and staining it a mahogany finish, I am re-upholstering the cushions a nice and happy yellow. I hope we have enough time between now and Saturday to finish it in time for my birthday party.

Hot or not?

The cushions were disgusting, I didn't take a picture just so you wouldn't throw up.

It's going to be gorgeous once it's finished, I just know it.

We spoil our new place too much, but wouldn't you if you had a view like this at your front door?

Listening to: "Ojo de la tormenta" -Soda Stereo. Brings me back to my 80's childhood in Chile.

Subbuteo

2010-09-22T21:34:00.000-06:00

My dear husband is so excited for my 30th B-Day party coming up next weekend, probably more than I am. He ordered a Subbuteo game and had it shipped from the U.K. for a whopping $147!!!! If I didn't love him so much I would have killed him, I am the stingiest of the stingy.

Being the Chilean and the Scot that we are, he went ahead and ordered his favorite team: Celtic -and for me of course: the Chilean team. We got the package today, I have to say I was so excited so see what it was all about, I couldn't wait to see the little teams, I'm a sucker for miniatures. I open the package and notice the Celtic team first, yeah, light skin, Celtic jersey, it was perfect, adorable. Then I saw the Chilean team, although the outfit was perfect, the skin color just made me laugh. It's the color of fiber infused poo.

Don't even try and tell me I'm a racist, black people have beautiful skin, I'm jealous of it actually -but it's definitely not this color.

The funny thing is that my family makes fun of me for being so white compared to my other family members...meet my younger brother, he's a real brown Chilean:

I love him, he's crazy like his older sister.

Either way, it will be a fun little game, we'll kick those Scots' potos either way.

Look how cute they are together...aww....

Listening to: "All My Life" -KC & JoJo. My husband is not at all in touch with his 90's R&B, it is my duty to educate him.

The Thing About Being Chilean-American

2010-09-18T22:59:00.001-06:00

I'm the perfect mix of Chile and Americana.

The Chilean side....

I can get the 'better' job because I speak Spanish.

I can talk smack about rude "English only" type people -we really do, but don't underestimate, if you spoke our language we'd say it to your face.

I can cook some damn good Chilean food, soups seem to be my specialty, they're fairly easy.

Then there's American side of me...

The one that can get the 'better' job because I also speak English..."you hardly have an accent!", if only I got $1 every time a gringo said that to me. Let's make that $5 por favor.

Making the extravagant Chilean Independence Day empanadas is a freakin' trip. It took my family 5 hours to make some empanadas today. I started making the famous potato salad, peeling potatoes is an easy task, but my Chilean mother comes over, I can feel her crazy dragon breathing behind me, I know she disapproves of the way I am peeling the potato. "That's not how you do it!". I quietly hand her the knife and let her finish. They make me in charge of the cheese empanadas, they're easy so I was happy. Then, "that's too much dough!". Done. No more Chilean tasks for Some blondie Chilean Woman. Nice.

Empanadas. Ours were not this pretty.

I stayed in the kitchen while my grandma and mother slaved for hours making these meat pockets. They were tasty, but in the end I am grossed out, I pigged out and I smell like a fairgrounds funnel cake fryer. I love that I am Chilean, but damn, I am grateful that I am not Chilean enough according to my family to make the sweat shop empanadas because they're a pain in the poto -yeah, Google that!

Listening to: "La Guagua" -Juan Luis Guerra. In Chile "guagua" means baby, literally. I don't know what it means in the Dominican Republic though.

Nothing worse than...

2010-09-15T17:26:00.000-06:00

We all have things that we can't stand. I have a list. I'm sorry to do so many list posts, but I'm not a writer so deal with it.

Ladies, I know you'll feel me on this one, I hope. There is nothing worse than sneezing when you're at the end of your period and wearing a tampon. Maybe I'm tight in that area, but man, it freakin' hurts.

There is also nothing worse than going to a public toilet and finding pubic hair on the seat. Go over to Blossom's blog, she talks all about it in her most recent post.

There is nothing worse than being tired, going to bed then realizing you gotta pee.

Queefs, they're so embarrassing. My husband laughs and I just get turned off.

Enough with bodily functions...my mind is in the gutter.

Listening to: "No Siento Penas" -Juanes. I'd like to dedicate this song to the queef maker in my life.

Some Judgmental Chilean Woman

2010-09-13T20:29:00.002-06:00

Work is busy, I'm in extreme need of a dental assistant so we're hiring. Tomorrow I've got 8 candidates coming in for interviews out of the 20 resumes I've received since I posted the ad last Tuesday. This is the first time I've had to interview and hire someone. Hopefully my Chilean judgmental beast won't come out too much.

In a perfect world I would never hire...

A girl who uses Facebook to post pout photos on themselves obviously taken in front of a mirror with their cell phone.

A man that wears a pinky ring.

A person who ends their sentences with "so..."

A person who can't spell the word molar.

Twilight groupies.

Someone who wears jeans to the interview.

Someone with bad teeth/breath.

Someone who texts during the interview.

Someone who doesn't smile.

A Justin Bieber fan. Or worse, a Nickelback fan!

Listening to: "Walk Away" -Franz Ferdinand.

2010-09-10T19:25:00.001-06:00

On a boat full of feelings -

I set sail -

In search of shores not yet discovered-

Wondering if I will ever find my hearts desire-

Never knowing that from heaven an angel-

Had been sent an had always been there -

At the helm -

Traveling – there – right next to me-

Is it your smile or is it you Brown eyes.

I will sit and ponder.

The moon traversing the sky.

You - floating in my mind.

In the infinity I will encounter your spirit.

Be it your eyes or your smile

You'd think my flaco wrote this little piece for me, that I'm his muse. But you're wrong. I signed up for Jango. I received over 20 male invitations in the first 2 hours, most of them had half naked pictures, you know, the really douche-baggy ones with the guy taking the picture by standing in front of a mirror with his shirt off all greasy and shiny? I have to say this email with the poem stood out, it's probably just a cut and paste, changing the eye color for every girl he adds, but it gave Scotsman and I a giggle. Today I changed my profile a bit, listing myself as married and talking about my Scottish husband. Today's friend requests: 2, both females.

Listening to: "Gone Away" -Connor Shaw. Regardless, Jango is pretty damn awesome, it's introduced me to some great tunes.

Our Backyard

2010-09-08T08:15:00.001-06:00

This is our backyard, at least half of it. We still don't have Internet at home because we live out in the mountains, but it's been nice. My dad and his girlfriend seem to be visiting us a lot lately, we've enjoyed nice meals sitting under the trees. Cracks me up how scared they are of nature, bees, voles, spiders freak them out -I thought Latinos were tougher than that, I guess not.

Last night after a stressful day at work, I came home and cook the hell out of some pantrucas. I find it extremely satisfying when I make something so hearty, makes me feel all Chilean and shizz. Mostly, I just love watching my skinny husband devour 3 huge bowls, it's a huge compliment.

People, especially here in Utah are very superficial, material things are so important, just drive around and you'll see HUGE houses, HUGE cars, HUGE fake boobs, HUGE Botox lips, HUGE families, etc. There was a time when those things used to make me a bit jealous, I wanted the huge house and money. But life happened and I had to grow up fast. Give me a bowl of hearty food to eat with my loved ones in our yard next to our fire pit and I'm good.

Wow, I used the word Huge too much in this post. I'm out of practice, I need to blog more...

Listening to: "Ain't No Sunshine" -Bill Withers. A classic.

Etsy find

2010-09-01T14:56:00.000-06:00

Meet Owlyshadowpuppets. Ah, the talent of people! I'm amazed and suddenly happy.

Listening to: "Drops In The River" -Fleet Foxes. Scotsman and I went to see John Mayer last night, it was actually very good, he's hilarious and charming. But I'm done with his stuff for a while...

Damn, I want that dress. And randoms.

2010-08-27T14:11:00.001-06:00

She's a cookie, I love that about her. And I am pretty jealous of that dress, I think I'd look good in it too, I have thick legs, but bigger boobies so I'd have to give it cleavage display.

I can't believe it's almost September, birthday month. I'm going to be 30 this year and I am quite thrilled about it, isn't that the horniest decade in a woman's lifespan? My poor husband...or pillow...or vibrator...or...OK, that's about all I'd hump.

For the birthday gift of my dreams I would want to do what they do in the first 3 minutes of the video below. All I want is a table full of different ingredients and for me to guess what they are. I bet I could guess most of them, yeah, under pressure yo. I'm a food whore, what can I say.

Shorty, if it was your birfday, and you could have anything 50 Cent style, what would you ask fo'?

Listening to: "Moon" -Sia.

Fingertips

2010-08-17T10:27:00.000-06:00

Flaco's birthday today...too bad we don't have internet access at home yet so he can read this, damn mountains.

His fingertips were busy typing when we first 'met'. We hardly slept to compose silly emails. It's crazy thinking back on how we met, it seems so unreal knowing that all we had then was words on the screen. Then his fingertips dared dial an American home line. Six hours straight, talking, laughing, the phone bill was ridiculous. Plans were made, plane ticket purchased, fingertips drumming on the table impatiently waiting for time to fly by. His first hug was awkward, his fingertips did not touch me. Nervous, scared, tired. Later that night, comfortable, excited, his fingertips meeting my body for the first time. Touching, playing for two beautiful weeks. He's gone. I can still feel his hands. More typing, text messages, dialing foreign numbers. He misses me too. He comes back to me, this time to stay. Months later he holds my hands in his, fingertips caressing mine, shaking as he mumbles through his vows and makes me his wife. Now we're old married folk. He works hard, sunburned Scottish skin is no longer white, calloused fingertips from working the earth. He hardly has time for his fingertips to play with his camera anymore, I must say I am now his hobby. Even though he's exhausted he still manages to use his hands, fingertips always finding my bare skin, making me feel wanted. We drive, his fingertips on my knee. I brush my teeth, his fingertips moving that stubborn curl behind my ear. I smile, he sweeps his fingertips on my cheek telling me he digs it. I cook, his kisses my neck and places his fingertips on the outer curve of my hearty hips. I sleep, he caresses my shoulder, fingertips move down to the small of my back. Every little touch brings me closer to him. A woman needs this kind of love...

Listening to: "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" -Death Cab For Cutie. The first time I heard this song was when I was listening to the Park City radio station. Something was going on with the service and this song played 3 times in a row, no commercials in between or anything. I didn't change the station, I fell in love with this song.

New Favorite Blog Feature

2010-08-10T08:55:00.000-06:00

I love finding beautiful and creative blogs, I live vicariously through them. Meet new mom Adele who captures photos of her baby Mila as she dreams. Here's the link, you're not going to want it to end, isn't it the sweetest thing?

Wild

2010-07-30T10:25:00.000-06:00

Guess which side of the bed is mine? Yep, the one without the sheets. I'm a crazy sleeper, I've been told that, but sometimes it takes getting out of bed and seeing the mess I've made to actually admit it.

Summers in Utah are very hot, and even though we live in the lower level of the house where it's cooler I'm still an oven. My poor husband has to suffer through it, he loves to spoon, but I'm just too damn hot. Hopefully now with the new house I'll cool down.

But I'm not blaming the weather, even when it's cold I go to bed with a nightgown only to wake up naked. Makes me wonder what else I might be doing in my sleep?!

Listening to: "Your Fucking Sunny Day" -Lambchop. Scotsman must have downloaded this one, I love his taste in music.

I'm alive.

2010-07-29T13:36:00.000-06:00

I haven't done a post for a little while because honestly, I've been super bitchy, bitter almost. I am sure you could tell by my previous posts. But I'm over it.

Anyhoo, holy cow, things are so good right now. I got another raise. I love my job and the fact that they recognize my good work. I can't believe how much things have improved since last year.

We are moving! Scotsman and I found our dream place somewhere in a canyon by the zoo. There is a yard, a place to start our garden, a fireplace, and a freakin' bomb shelter. It's located in one of Utah's beautiful canyons, a few feet from a river, hiking, and biking trails. Yeah, I'm not kidding, it's seriously the perfect place and Scotsman and I are so excited. We have been so sick to our stomachs, there were lots of people interested (of course, it's gorgeous!), but we got lucky. We sign today.

Now, we just need a dog. What's your favorite breed? Can't you see me with a Pug like this one? Awww.

Listening to: "The Heart of Life" -John Mayer. Love this song, love his music. We have tickets to see him Aug 31, Scotsman's not excited about it. I think he's just jealous.

The Hills

2010-07-14T15:25:00.000-06:00

It's a good thing I'm in a bad mood today, I feel like I could fully give myself to hating on something:

The Hills

Everyone is talking about it freakin' Lauren, Whitney, whatever their names are. I see it on Facebook, the news, I am so glad I don't listen to mainstream radio 'cause I know I would hear about their silly lives there too. I freakin' hate The Hills. For those that know me, I'm bitchy, I'll admit it, but I'm fun too. I just can't stand today's society, that makes me sound old, but look around you! Everything is so fake, nothing's real anymore.

This show has crossed my path about 2 times, that's enough for me to hate. The first time there was a conversation going on at a restaurant between a fake blond, overly tan chick and a douchebag guy, you know, the type with the sunglasses, plaid shorts, shirt with the collar popped. They weren't even talking to each other over dinner, they were texting who knows who. Supposedly these two were meant to get back together. Who the fuck cares? I can go to the local Olive Garden and see 95.9% of Utah couples doing that.

The second time was just last Saturday, my sister was watching it at her house. *I bet this will be the post she happens to read, she always reads my angry, bitchy ones and thinks less of me, love you!* I had one of my favorite girl friends with me. I watched about 5 minutes of this crap show, and again, total fake crap. Two chicks in a Paris hotel, one had worn a designer dress and burned it. "Like, I can't buleev I burned it", or something like that. My sister and my friend we're like totally into it, talking about the characters and their ridiculous spoiled lives. I really tried to put on my best hypocrite smiley face, but I was annoyed, I'm sure they could tell.

What I don't understand is how can people be so into someone's life like that? These are spoiled rotten kids who have probably never been through any of the struggles that us normal folks have to go through. They have to children to raise, no jobs to lose over a crap economy, no long commutes, no meals to cook, nothing! And here we are, waiting every week to watch the silly show, making them even more loads of money, for what? Do we feel we need to live vicariously through them? Why that life? Life is far more interesting than getting like your hair did.

Don't even get me started on the look of these silly, immature bitches, is this what society wants us to look like? I would look like so hot too if I had their money, time, IQ, etc. But the money gods have not blessed me with such things, which actually makes me happy. I won't trade my rough abused childhood, awkward teenage years, confusing young adulthood to have what they have, because to me it's not substantial. All of the crap I've been through, I know these stupid girls couldn't handle, making me the stronger person.

Phew, I'm glad that's out. Thanks for reading.

Listening to: "Iris" -The Goo Goo Dolls. An oldie but a goody.

Writers Diarrhea

2010-07-13T15:09:00.003-06:00

So I can't think of anything specific to talk about other than just a bunch of randoms, a diarrhea of words.

Dream come true for me, Bell X1 is going to be performing in San Francisco in October. We bought tickets for the concert yesterday and I can't stop thinking about it, I am so happy! What makes it even more exciting is the fact that it's their acoustic tour which means it's a tiny venue and I so dig that. I guess we better start saving and planning the rest of the trip.

Speaking of Bell X 1, before I even knew they were coming to the States I decided I want an apple for my first tattoo in the middle of my upper back, between the shoulder blades. 'Eve, The Apple of My Eye' is one of my favorite songs of theirs. I really love the 'she said, let's give it a try' line; even though I am not super adventurous and a bit of a worrywart, it seems like the times I've said let's give it a try it's been very rewarding. I like this one...

It's too hot here in Utah. I don't even know why I wear nightgowns to bed, I wake up naked almost every night.

I saw this again today, it made me happy, I love The Office.

Listening to: "West of Her Spine" -Freakin' sexy song. What's with all these men from that part of the world being all sexy and shiz? I really like it.

Men! #2

2010-07-04T01:04:00.000-06:00

I got all pampered today, had a massage and a pedicure at a spa. I was feeling naturally beautiful, relaxed and completely in love with the man that likes to spoil me to such treats. Wanting to thank him for the spa getaway I went and bought a cute little something to seduce him with. Too bad that little something doesn't measure up to the freakin' Wii -I wish my buttons got that much attention!

Rings Rings Rings

2010-06-28T16:54:00.000-06:00

I'm an anti-diamond chick, yeah, I'm a hater I'll admit it. I just find diamonds pretencious and in this part of the world a woman's worth is measured by them. The bigger the rock (and fake boobs) the better catch you are. Wrong! I don't even have a ring, what does that say about my marriage? Absolutely nothing.

BUT, I really want these from Etsy. I'm a cheap date, what can I say?

from preciousjd

from stoutwoodworks

from kathiroussel

from Jenifersfamilyjewels

from tamar

from superficialgirl

Listening to: "Clarao de Lua" -Gerd.

Fireworks

2010-06-27T23:10:00.000-06:00

I love fireworks.

I love the smell.

I love the loudness.

I love laughter from strangers.

I love the glow-in-the-dark sticks kids play with.

I love hard boiled egg sandwiches, reminds me of my poor Chilean days.

I love my scared little boy sitting on my lap with his head under his blanket and his little heartbeat on the palm of my hand.

I love the smell of sunscreen.

I love seeing my husband put my tired son on his shoulders as we walk back to the car.

I love coming home after a long summer evening and falling asleep in my baby's arms.

I love Summer.

Listening to "The State That I am in" -Belle & Sebastian. I really wish I was cool in a more Belle & Sebastian way. I wish I could play an instrument, not wear make-up and get away with it. I wish I was thin enough to wear shorter skirts, like really nerdy plaid ones. I wish I could be more clever, I know my husband would appreciate smarter conversations. But I am I what I am, sassy, plump, and have to wear make up, at least mascara to look alive. OK, enough moping, I better go have a shower and refresh.

Professor Batty, look what I found!!!!

2010-06-25T13:42:00.001-06:00

Scotsman and I have often talked about going to Iceland someday. Enjoy the video, I must download this freakin' song!

Inspired by Iceland Video from Inspired By Iceland on Vimeo.

Quickie No. 14

2010-06-24T15:26:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I've written one, doesn't mean there's been a drought.

Most times I am the one to take from him

I like being on top

I enjoy control and demand his full attention

Then there are times when I actually just give

I don't care about anything but making him happy

at least that's what he thinks...

He doesn't know I get off just hearing him say the curve of my ass against him is

d e l i c i o u s

I pretended I didn't hear him say it the first time and made him say it again

Yes, I'm greedy and possessive like that

or maybe I'm just easy.

Listening to: "Behave!" -Frightened Rabbit.

Chalk and Randoms

2010-06-21T15:35:00.001-06:00

Dude, I seriously have no time any more. Scotsman and I find ourselves extremely busy with work, kids, and such. Finally this Saturday we found ourselves busy still but kid-free.

The camera Scotsman gave me back two years ago is finally in repair.

We have concert tickets for July 19th. Kings of Leon, holy lust!! Doesn't their music turn you on? Maybe I am just easy.

I don't know what it is but when we get together with Hillary and her husband Matt they always bring up converstations that end up with me just being a hater. No, I don't think Playboy is art, it's porn, simple. Slutty women bug me, especially when they say they're doing it for 'art'. If you're smart, independent, why ya have to be a skank? We had a good laugh, but seriously, I end up looking like the hater.

Speaking of skanks, why do small-chested women feel like going without a bra is acceptable? I can still see your mini marshmallow nips. When my camera is fixed I hope that indie chick finally finds that training bra.

My husband doesn't really talk dirty often. I don't actually care, he could be talking about a haggis sandwich and I'll think it's hot because he's got that hot Scottish accent. But when he does talk dirty, I get super shy and can't reply back. Damn, sometimes I wish I had better slut skills.

Here are some pictures I took at the Chalk Art Festival. I actually thought it was okay. Am I becoming an art snob? I'm already a music, Spanish, Utah girl, food, So You Think You Can Dance snob...I have issues.

This is my favorite one, I think it's the only one with real depth.

Listening to: 'Black Thumbnail" -Kings of Leon. Yum.

Real

2010-06-17T17:44:00.000-06:00

fake boobs

fake hair

fake finger nails

fake teeth

fake tan

fake eye color

fake eyelashes

WHY?

I don't get it

My boobs sag, like a lot

but they're reach my husband's face/mouth just right when I'm on top

My hair can get messy and ratted

but I know some bitches would love to have it

My fingernails are never painted or long,

but they're clean, not to mention it doesn't hurt to take out my contacts

My teeth are not super white

but we all know that Hollywood smile is ridiculous looking

My skin is an assortment of brown and white patches,

but dammit, who walks around nude in the sun for that even tan?

My eyes are not blue,

but they're interesting, people are never sure what shade of brown or red it is

I've thought about getting fake eyelashes,

but where does that hair come from? Some Thai chick? No thanks.

Listening to: "Lento" -Julieta Venegas

Scottish Festival

2010-06-13T13:50:00.000-06:00

This time I didn't have the swine flu so I was able to enjoy myself a little more.

Yep, it was freezing in the middle of June, I had to pull my hat, scarf, hoodie, and sweater out.

I've decided:

My husband is not meant to have a turkey leg, fair vendors always run out before he can get one.
I wish Chileans cultural shows were as united and proud as the Scots' festival.
Belly dancers should be banned from any Celtic events especially if they don't know how to do it properly.
I don't like it when my husband stands behind someone else and not me, it makes me hella angry. Don't judge me, I think it would piss you off too.
People at a concert should bathe and not smell like ass if they plan on jumping around
I kinda like seeing drunk people dance.

Listening to: "Frisbee" -The Lucksmiths.

Naughty Little Book

2010-06-11T19:59:00.000-06:00

Reading to me is relaxing. I love getting naked and reading a good book in bed next to my warm book-worm husband. I wasn't much of a reader in the past, but since Scotsman came along about 2 years ago I've picked it up. That being said, I am a bit picky with books, they have to have certain qualities that attract me. They have to be simple, I'm not 'book smart' so if you're gonna throw fancy words at me, a huge vocabulary just doesn't impress me -that goes for people too, not just books. Books also have to be somewhat real, I hate books about spoiled rich people, celebrities, aliens, ghosts, blah, blah. I also love a good sex scene, not necessary, but I love a little bit of lust to keep me interested -that goes for people too, not just books.

While talking to a coworker about my hatred and prejudice towards the Twilight books (ew!) she could not understand my bitterness. They're stupid, total fake crap. I tried explaining myself but I couldn't without not swearing and coming across like a total bitch. A few days later she came to me and told me to go on the library website and reserve a book that I would love. Oh shit.

It's not any of that vampire crap

No Carla, you will love it.

No fairies right?

No, I love those, but no. It's mystical.

I don't do those.

C'mon it's hot, you will love it, I promise.

Ok, just 'cause I love you.

It took like a whole month to get it from the library, no one wanted to give it up. When I finally got it and saw the cover I rolled my eyes. Doesn't it look totally corny?

It's actually very good! Yes, exclamation point and everything. It's not "real" and it's about mystical creatures, but I'm into it. I won't lie, the sex scenes are hot and I want to keep reading it. Not only that but the main guy is Scottish, that's hot. I feel like one of those reserved Mormon guys who don't get any sex and watch porn behind their wives backs, except I do get sex and don't do it behind my husband's back.

Scotsman likes to make fun of me when I read it, he's constantly pointing out that I am reading porn and I just giggle. I do get turned on, but it's really nothing I've never done in the past. It's not like I think of it as 'oh they're so hot, I want to do them', it just makes me want to be touched or be treated the way it's described, I'm greedy like that. But in the end, I've done everything they've done in this book, it's nothing new in my sexual life. So what is it about reading/seeing porn-ish things that make us want to see more? If we've all done it before, why do we continue to search for it?

Listening to: "Wild Young Hearts" -The Noisettes. Crap song, what the hell?

PRIDE Parade

2010-06-08T20:10:00.002-06:00

My uncle and his partner invited us to join them at this year's gay PRIDE parade. I fully support gay rights and hope Utah will become more open to their rights.

This parade was definitely the most exciting parade I've ever been to, not to mention inspirational too.

As some of you might know (well maybe just my husband) Rupaul's Drag Race is one of my favorite shows. The beautiful Morgan was in it and I recognized her so she totally posed for me. In my next life, I would love to be a fabulous drag queen.

Isn't she fierce?

Go Park City! I see that van every day on my way to work.

There was a drag queen dressed up like Sarah Palin, and this was the sign that followed her:

Brilliant!

Listening to: "If" -Maxwell feat. Prince.

Me, Myself, and Compliments.

2010-06-02T19:24:00.000-06:00

Today one of my employees told me me wishes she could be a 'sexy Latina with long dark hair and dark skin'. I just replied with a mild 'you're beautiful too, whatcha talking about?". She stopped me and told me to just take the compliment. I felt stupidly ungrateful.

Whenever someone tells me I'm pretty, or that I look good, I can't freakin' take it. On my drive back from Park City today I was thinking about compliments and how I don't respond very well when they are given to me. I will gladly accept a compliment on how good a job I do at work, how professional, effective, and productive I am. But if someone tries to give me a compliment on my physical appearance I kinda blow it off.

What is it about us previous fat girls that can't take a compliment? Even though it's been over 3 years since my HUGE days, I still feel like that HUGE person inside so I can't really see myself as truly beautiful. But seriously, who cares what I think? I just need to remember that when someone goes out of their way to give me a compliment, I need to be more polite about it. I don't know how to be more grateful without sounding fake. How do you take a compliment? Do you just say 'thanks'?

Mmmm, back to my cookies now. Thanks for reading.

Listening to: "Take a bow" -Madonna. Damn, I love this song so much.

2nd Avenue

2010-05-31T11:40:00.001-06:00

My dad is the sweetest guy ever, when he found out it was our 1st wedding anniversary and he hooked us up with a little getaway in Salt Lake City. My dad is one of those lucky people that knows someone who owns this beautiful home in Salt Lake's 2nd Avenue. They only use it a couple of times a year and they were nice enough to let us borrow it for a couple of days this weekend.

I don't know what it is about old homes, they just have so much character -I want one so bad! I don't know how many times my husband said, "don't be getting any ideas" -I seriously loved this house and I would love to someday have something like that, I just don't think we could afford 2.5 million right now, if ever. But I could go for something smaller in Sugar House...

Steven's gonna hate me for posting this photo...

Happy 1st anniversary baby!!!!

Facebook Status: "My man loves to spoon me & kiss my neck at night. He's always saying how cute the dot on my nose is. He can drive me crazy with his stubborn arguments, he's my own Shrek. But he thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world. He celebrates my culture & who I am. He loves my children & protects them as if they were his own. He never judges my past. I love him so much. Happy FIRST anniversary to us!

Listening to: "Teach Me Tonight" -Amy Winehouse.

Indie Latina

2010-05-27T10:54:00.001-06:00

Once ago I had a illusion
and I didn't know what to do
I didn't know what to do
with it (it=illusion)
I didn't know what to do
And this illusion went away
Because I let it go away
Why did I let it go?
I don't know
I only know that it's gone now
Since then, my heart
cries day by day for it
(Hanging next to) the gate
I didn't know what to do just because of this illusion
and it passed me by
Because I let it go away
Why did I let it go?
I don't know
I only know that it's gone now

I know that all the things I wanted
I left all that I wanted behind
Why couldn't give myself a try?
To live it in happiness

It's the illusion of its return
Or what else that could make me happy
Could make me live

I didn't know what to do just because of this illusion
and it passed me by
Because I let it go away
Why did I let it go?
I don't know
I only know that it's gone now

I know that all the things I wanted
I left all that I wanted behind
Why couldn't give myself a try?
To live this illusion in happiness

I left all that I wanted behind
I know all that I wanted
I left all that I wanted behind
Why I couldn't allow myself
to try to be happy with her
Because I let it go
Why did I let it go?
I don't know
I only know that it's gone now
Because I let it go
Why did I let it go
I don't know
I only know that it's gone now

From: http://lyricstranslate.com

I love Julieta Venegas, about the only super talented, non-ho-ish Latina that actually plays instruments and writes beautiful music.

Dear Spanx

2010-05-25T13:09:00.000-06:00

Dear Spanx,

For a while now I've been hearing all about how you get around, how great you make women feel. I actually hated you because Oprah loves you, I couldn't have something Oprah recommended, that's just silly and mommy-ish. I've seen you beeing talked about on Facebook feeds and it drove me crazy, what's the fuss all about? You can't be all that. No way I would spend $40 on freakin' 'power panties', I'll just breathe deep and just suck it up. Then I saw you on sale for 40% off and my life now has a new meaning.

This girl loves to eat, I'm talking lots of bread, cheese, and chocolate. My curves are dangerous and anyone that can handle them has got to be special, or a masochist. I have to say I was scared when I pulled you out of the package, you seemed so frail and tiny, there was no way you could handle this. I can't believe I was able to fit all my mommy goodness inside you. Not only did you stretch around a very curvy Latina, but you also gave a bit of my figure back. Now, the booty -it's still there, thank you, thank you.

If only I had met you earlier I am sure my husband would have been a much happier person. He gets tired of me complaining about my tummy and how I need plastic surgery, I get tired of me complaining!

Just a quick question though, why are you crotchless? Are you hoping happy men will be attacking their happy women in their power panties? I know sex can be desperate and crazy sometimes, but I don't plan on having you be any part of it, naked is good.

Either way, I love you and hope I can get some more like you. I hope to see you around the block at 40% off again, because I am cheap like that.

Sincerely,

A very satisfied customer.

Because I'm Andean like that.

2010-05-22T21:00:00.000-06:00

Today the Chilean group that I am part of had the privilege of performing in the annual Living Traditions festival in Salt Lake City. I can't remember the last time I got the chills whilst performing, today was the day and not because it was cold and rainy -we did awesome!

I'm a desert girl from the North of Chile, our music and culture is rich and full of color and life. My father is a professional Andean music player and because of that I grew close to my Andean roots. I thought I'd seen all that Chilean, Bolivian, and Peruvian folklore had to offer until today. I have decided that in my next life I will come back as a Peruvian Retablo artist.

Bad Dreams

2010-05-18T12:15:00.000-06:00

Life has been crazy for the past couple of months, both Scotsman and I are very busy and hardly have time for us. Scotsman does very physical jobs and comes home filthy, cranky, and exhausted. The manager job is the best job I've ever had but it wears me out, the commute is hard. When I get home I crash, I have no energy, all I want to do is go to bed. What sucks even more is the fact that I am having horrible dreams in my sleep. I wake up crying and my jaw hurts like a mo fo because of me grinding my teeth. I don't feel like I've actually rested in a couple of months and I am tired of it.

These dreams usually have something to do with my husband cheating on me. He's a total different person in these dreams, he's cold and doesn't care about my feelings at all and he'll even cheat in front of me. I usually end up punching him on the face and it doesn't phase him at all. In my heart I know he'd never cheat on me, I trust him, but I am insecure about my appearance -I know, I know. I haven't felt sexy for a few months and if he's not loving on me I worry even more.

Why am even talking about this? Perhaps 'getting it out' will help me get over whatever it is that's bothering me. I'm tired, I need a vacation or something...

What do you do when you have bad dreams? Do you take them to heart or do you just ignore them?

Listening to: "Jammin" -Bob Marley. This song really makes me want to leave on vacation...

Idaho Weekend Trip

2010-05-11T10:40:00.000-06:00

The first night we stayed in Shoshone's Governor's Mansion -sounds fancy, but it wasn't really. For only $45 we slept in a nice old house that my kids loved, they thought it was pretty darn fancy.

Somewhere in Shoshone...

I have to say I love old American looking places and Idaho is full of them.

Shoshone Ice Cave, yeah, in the middle of the desert.

Shoshone Falls, Twin Falls -Idaho. Freaks me out every time...I can't stand heights.

Listening to: "Invierno" -Reik. Sure does feel like freakin' Winter, snowing in May!!!

Men!

2010-05-06T13:42:00.000-06:00

Last week Scotsman made me purchase a pair of high heel shoes I had been spotting for about 2 months. They're a bit ghetto Latina style so I haven't been able to wear them to work because I didn't have anything to really match. This morning I woke up determined to wear them, no patients in the office so why not give them a try?

Me: These shoes are kinda slutty.

Scotsman: How are they slutty?

Me: I don't know, I look kinda slutty with them on.

Scotsman: I don't think so. As he gets behind me he grabs my hips and pretend dry humps me.

Me: My point exactly...

Listening to: "You Are Not Alone" -Michael Jackson. Shut up, I love him.

We made the news.

2010-05-02T12:06:00.000-06:00

Yesterday Scotsman, Brandon, and I headed to an immigration rally. The rally was to show our support for the repeal of AB 1070 in Arizona and to demonstrate support for comprehensive immigration reform. Utah is very much a conservative state, with that comes ignorance and no tolerance for immigrants and our rights. Hate-filled bills are being pushed through state legislatures across the country. Although I am not much of a politics person, I strongly support comprehensive immigration and fight against racial profiling and fascism. I decided to go to the rally as a concerned citizen to support those that feel can't voice their opinion and frustration. You can read more about it here, see if you can find us.

Brandon -I'm so glad he came with us!

If you look really closely there is a hateful sign in there that said something about 'get some balls and go back to your homeland'. That trucker hat man lasted about 5 minutes before he was escorted out. I thought it was funny that his wife stayed outside the fence and didn't dare come in and support her ridiculous husband.

My favorite sign -wish I would have thought of it!

Yours truly.

Overall, it was a very peaceful event. I just wish there would have been more people -damn rain!

Baby, download this one!

2010-04-30T13:02:00.003-06:00

I would love to be a paper puppet maker, that sounds like a fun job. Then again, I know I ain't got the patience to work on such intricate pieces of art. I will just live vicariously through this video.

Lior + Sia = Amazing!!!!

Randoms...because I have nothing better to talk about

2010-04-28T21:48:00.000-06:00

My 74 yr-old grandpa is now the most popular man on my Facebook right now. So not only do I get random texts from him, but now I get to see his status. What's going on?

My OCD is getting the best of me. It bugs me when people change the words she to he or he to she when they sing according to their gender. If a song is written for a girl I will sing it for a girl, I won't change the lyrics to make it politically correct, that's just bull.

My superior drove me to Park City today and I was jealous of her. She was able to take off her bra whilst driving in the freakin' snow AND she worked bra-free all day. I can take my bra off without exposing myself, a few years of musical theater performances will train a girl. But if I tried to go even a miserable hour bra-free I am sure the dentist wouldn't need any help extracting teeth, my 'free' boobs would do the job. I wanted smaller breasts earlier today, but as I sit here baggy and loose I've changed my mind.

I was looking for tampons today and found the cheapest kind, I only have 1 more day or so, whatever. These are getting fancy, it's pretty much a mini gun. I have to say I don't really like the shooting the cotton up the vajayjay thing, it's kinda scary. Maybe I am just not adventurous enough.

While in the 'feminine products' aisle I noticed all the condoms and sexual goodies were in it. Are women really the most responsible when it comes to protected sex? I think condoms should be sold in the auto or hardware aisle too.

I had my first staff meeting today. I was in charge. I was nervous. My Scottish accent came out. The Dr and staff made fun of me. I blushed. I don't do blush.

Listening to : "Pa' Bailar" -Bajofondo feat. Julieta Venegas. Yummy, sexy song.

A hippie kind of day

2010-04-25T12:23:00.002-06:00

Scotsman had to work all day yesterday and I was a bit sad I wouldn't have anything to do. But I ended up hanging out with friends and family all day instead, and it was lovely...now I am worn out, again...

Oh and that's not me getting the Henna tattoo done...

So tired...

2010-04-22T09:20:00.001-06:00

Is it Thursday already? Where did the week go? The new position is kicking my butt, I have to travel long ways to get to the office every day and I am worn out. My poor husband keeps complaining of my snoring at night, I feel bad but what can I do? I'm exhausted.

I'm so tired I didn't even bring my camera to take pictures of the beautiful snow-covered Park City. The view from my office window is really nice, I wish you could see it, but I am just too tired. Oh yeah, I have Scotsman's camera in my bag, but I am too tired and that camera is too heavy.

I'm so tired I don't even feel like taking the tiny birth control pill with water because I don't want to get up in the middle of the night to pee.

I'm so tired, I forgot to put my deodorant on this morning. Good thing I don't sweat very much, actually, good thing I am alone in the office today.

I'm so tired I left my sassy shoes in the car and I am wearing my ugly $7 Wal-Mart fuzzy clogs.

I'm so tired I can't even bother come up with a good post.

I wish I had some energy. Not as much energy as this guy though...

Listening to: "Nada Valgo Sin Tu Amor" -Juanes. Spanish is sexy in songs. Quiero pasar mas tiempo junto a ti...is hot isn't it?

Where East Meets West

2010-04-18T23:38:00.001-06:00

He convinced me to drive on a road that wasn't the usual one -it was the perfect way to end our weekend. The Golden Spike National Historic Site is a pretty rad place to visit especially when the sun is going down, even my stubborn camera seemed to like it -here's proof.

Damn, Utah is a beautiful place isn't it?

Park City, Here I Come!!!

2010-04-16T08:03:00.000-06:00

While driving to work yesterday the sun was out and shining through the mountains and I thought to myself how blessed I am to have a job that is secure but most importantly a job where I'm happy and appreciated-that thought made me smile, I'm romantic like that. An hour into my work day I get called in and get an offer I couldn't refuse: managing the Park City office...say what?! I didn't even think twice and I took it.

Scotsman and I have talked about actually living in Park City, we love the place. There would be lots of opportunities for Scotsman in the landscaping side of business. The people are very nice, a lot more liberal than Salt Lake and Utah county so that's definitely a plus, we need change. We're not planning on moving any time soon, we have lots of ducks we need to get in a row, but damn, I feel like things are looking up for us...finally!

Isn't Park City pretty? Thank goodness it's Spring now...

Listening to: "Eres Para Mi" -Julieta Venegas. Finally a Latin singer that is actually talented and stays true to her roots, I am so done with these Latina going all Britney, seriously!

Attraction

2010-04-11T20:53:00.001-06:00

My uncle, the one I talked about quite a few posts ago broke up with the chick he was seeing. They knew each other for about 3 months when they got engaged and were actually going to elope to Vegas. Long story short: they broke up. I saw him today when I went over to my grandma's and we talked a little about attraction.

You like prissy girls

Yeah, I think I do, but she has to be able to get dirty too.

Nah, I really think you just like the eye candy, a trophy.

Yeah, I'm picky.

On our drive back home Scotsman and I were talking on the subject of attraction and what I have 'been into' in the past. I really hate it when he talks about it but my husband brought up the fact that had we met in a normal setting I wouldn't have been attracted to him. I always tell him it's not true, but who's to say, I wouldn't know. Then I started thinking about the guys I have liked in the past, it made me think a lot about who I am.

Most of the men I have been honestly drawn to have been men that the average woman probably wouldn't choose as their partner. I remember my first significant crush was a Chilean kid that was new to our school, he was shy and he was deaf. I loved how mysterious he was and how cool and slick that hearing aid made him look. I remember trying to pick up sign language just to be able to get his attention, which never happened, he smiled at me once when I tried to sign to him and I think I might have drooled a little on his pants. Later in High School I fell head over heels for this really nerdy kid, Nate. I thought he was the cat's pijamas, the bee's knees, he was funny, about 4 inches shorter than me, and he made me feel like a princess. He was probably the most popular nerd in school, I loved his confidence and natural ability to make people feel good. I actually saw him last summer at our school reunion and he's done very well for himself, he might have been a good catch even though he stared at my breasts more than he stared at my face.

My ex husband is a nerd too, I wasn't physically attracted to him until I saw him sing and play the guitar. I liked the fact that he was a 'good boy' too, which I love I find them more sincere, that's just me. Anyway, Danny was a huge part of my early adult life not to mention my fat life too so I didn't get to experience more than that. When Danny and I went our separate ways I lost a lot of weight and I found myself quite happy. I worked in a hospital and met a lot of men. Men must have sensed how happy I was because I was hit on constantly. Men that I think women would consider hot were now asking me out and I declined, but there were times when I did go out with a couple of them. Yes, they were attractive, dressed well, smelled amazing, drove nice cars but they talked about nothing that was of interest to me and it really turned me off.

Then I met my husband, my very skinny, awkward hug-giving, potty-mouthed, pale-skinned, Scottish blogger type guy. He's a nerd (I typed 'total nerd' but he corrected me, he's watching a rugby game on TV so he thinks he's cool) just like me and he rocks my world..and my bed. The truth is if we had met let's say at a bar I know he wouldn't have approached me, he would have thought I was out of his league which is so damn stupid! I love shy guys, I find them mysterious and sexy. Yes, it's very sexy to have this reserved man open up to me and give into my desires.

I can honestly say I am not a shallow girl at all, when it comes to men I don't discriminate, and I am really proud of that. I don't think people should 'settle' for just anybody but I also think that we should always be open to what might be out there. I think if we're too picky we might just miss out on something beautiful, you never know, life is very funny that way.

Listening to: "How Your Heart is Wired" -Bell X1.