I'm alive, so alive

Holy crap.  Have I really not posted anything in how long?
Yep.  But I am still alive, so alive, so happy, so good.  Just too damn busy, or perhaps just too lazy...maybe a combination.
Facebook, I blame you Facebook, you're so much easier. 

But yes, I'm alive, the Scot is alive, the dog, the kids, we're all happy.
And it's been a crazy ride.  Let's start with the bad.

Bollocks.  Who needs them?
The Scot has recovered.  He's half a man, half a lesbian now, he says.
But the cancer was taken out, he's recovered well and I am so happy to have him with me. 
Yeah, cancer.  That's a freakin' scary term.  It all happened so quickly I feel irreverent not having spent any more time posting about it, but it just slapped us in the face, we just weren't ready.
But he's fine, no worries, he's alive and well, gardening, eating all my delicious foods, the grumpy bastard didn't change.
I love him so much, that will never change.

Me...well, I am too busy
I'm singing
Singing a lot
And I am so happy doing it
That's pretty much what's taken over my world right now, and it's worth it, it makes me happy

Passion
it drives me
Love
I've found it
Community
part of it
What else could I ask for? 

I love Halloween

I shall post something of substance soon. 

Talents

I ran into someone over the weekend who said 'every time I see you you have a new talent'.  I hope I never tire of doing what I love.

Disappointment

Sometimes people in your life disappoint you, loyalty is a phenomenon. But disappointment has always made me stronger, it wakes me up and helps me focus. Ready to move on to better and bigger things.  I have a talent.  Why the hell not? Time to go for it.

Finally, I applied for Masterchef.  Portland open-call if I am not contacted.





Listening to: Medicine by Musiq Soulchild

The way to a man's heart...

 

 

All he wanted was some meatballs and time alone with me.

The Irn Bru made it even better, compliments of the mum in-law

I shall surprise him again tomorrow, kind of.

Happy Birthday Scotsman.  Life tastes better with you in it. 

Listening to: Country Mile by Camera Obscura 

Why I don't listen to pop music anymore

Surprisingly enough I don't own an iPod.  I know it's crazy, but I am waiting until I can upgrade my cell phone to get one with musical perks, until then I will listen to CD's and FM radio while driving.

I hate teenage pop music, I can't believe I used to be a teenager and used to love that shit.  Anyway, my kids love that shit so we will listen to it on the way to day camp. After the kids were gone, the radio station DJ's (is that what they're called nowadays?)  were discussing men and pornography.  They said that most men watch porn and that those who say they don't are lying so women should just deal with it. 

Would I be upset if I caught Scotsman watching porn?

Oh hell yes.

To me porn is not evil or morally wrong. Personally I find it rubbery, plastic, and cheesy, but I have watched it so I am no angel.  But I have questions: if you have a willing partner and she is horny and ready all of the time, why in the freak would you turn to porn? Why stick to fantasy when you can have it in real life?

This morning I heard the two men also saying that they need the 'visual stimulation', that men are 'visual beings'. Then why not get your woman naked?  Wouldn't that be the same thing?  This topic really confuses me...

and this is why I don't like public, shallow, celebrity-obsessed radio.


Listening to: Tabu by Gustavo Cerati

Bigger than me

 Me singing on closing night for the Utah Arts Festival



Young Mormon Missionary: 'So may I ask you one question?'
Me: 'Uh Yeah'
YMM: 'What keeps you from coming back to The Church and enjoying the full blessings of the Priesthood?'
Me: 'I just choose to live a different life'
Silence...His companion changes the subject and bids me farewell.
Strangers are so weird, it wasn't worth taking this conversation any further.

I am not going to do a huge and deep religious post, it's too much for this setting.  But I will say this:

Although I don't know what's out there, I don't know how I feel about God and I choose not to participate  in the Christian ways I grew up in - I still feel with all my heart that whatever is out there is watching out for me.  Perhaps it's Good Karma, I've had some shit times in my life.  I will continue to be grateful, without a denomination, to life for what I have, for what I get to do. Life is good to me.

Wow, I sound like a total hippie.

Listening to: Antonia by Gondwana.